Written by Alison Chrun
What’s a life quake, you ask?
It’s the day you find out that you’re expecting your first child.
It’s the moment you hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
It’s the first time you feel your son doing somersaults in your womb and it catches you completely off guard.
It’s when you look yourself in the mirror and realize…you have so much to change in such little time.
It’s what feels like the first day of the rest of your life.
I didn’t expect to want to change so much for this child. I didn’t expect to need to change so much for this child. But I had to. There was a cycle of dysfunctional relationships running rampant in my family, stemming from my childhood and wreaking havoc over my life due to the absence of boundaries.
I was allowing it to happen, but decided I had to make a change.
It was time to confront the issues in my life that held control over me for far too long. I longed to create a clean slate and conflict-free family for my son to be born into. But it only got worse.
You see, when someone stands up for themselves after letting others call the shots for so long, it’s not always a welcome change. I was naive to believe that people would want to change just because I asked them to. Relationships were damaged, conflict deepened, and as strong as I felt, I had never been more broken.
After my beautiful son was born, my every breath had meaning. I was shockingly aware of my purpose in this life. It was to protect him, to teach him, to be everything to him that never existed for me. It was to mold him, to learn from him, to understand what unconditional love really was. I had never felt more clear in all my life.
The work continued. I sought therapy to cope with my broken past. I began making decisions that would only benefit the life of my family. There was only room for healthy relationships in our lives, not toxic ones. I built boundaries to protect the ones I love. I took a lot of criticism for it, but learned how to use the word “no.” I even went back to school and earned my degree, graduating just three weeks before giving birth to my second child. Every decision I made was made for the sole purpose of our future.
The life that started out as the tiniest seed, lit a flame that has continued to burn inside me ever since. As that fire burns, it makes me stronger, wiser, more grateful, more inspired, insightful, sensitive, compassionate, and a force to be reckoned with in the best way. I have stopped apologizing for being honest, because it’s the only way I know to live.
And to think, it all started the moment this little guy let me know he was on his way. He woke me up from a fog I was sleepwalking through. He ignited the fire within me, and I became alive. He told me to get serious and take accountability for my life. I did just that, and never looked back.
The boy saved my life.
That my friends, is a life quake.
About the Author: